cebii

do we want more?

On top of everything else going on, another foster family had some trouble, so we have two more toddlers for an unknown amount of time. A sister and brother, almost four and almost three. Before we had our own babies, we used to do respite for these two regularly, and we've kind of missed them over the last year and a half. It hurts because we wanted them for keeps back then, but they were (and still are, apparently) in some sort of limbo. We think it is because the caseworker wants to place them with their three older siblings. That is a big deal because it will be very difficult to find a placement for five kids together, especially when they are African American and have abuse and developmental issues.

Holly and I have less of a problem with separating siblings after our experiences. The kids have been separated for two years already, and one can always stipulate sibling visits/contact in the adoption. Sometimes, I think it is even better to separate them. The older kids have a chance to learn to be children and not the 'responsible one', and the younger kids are removed from whatever problem behaviors the older ones have learned.

I wish we could keep them, but we don't have room. Our agency wouldn't go for it anyway because they think the foster family they are with would take offense. Don't really understand why, but it has been made clear to us. I think that the fact that we seriously considered trying to adopt them was one reason (besides having younger twins) that stopped us from doing respite for them.

posted by cebii @ 1:39 PM