my view of S
Lionmom may disagree with all or part of this, and that is okay.S, in many ways has completely recovered from her attempt. Her grief over it and the pain it caused us and others lasted four or five days. She doesn't think about it anymore, unless someone brings it up. No lingering depression. As far as I can tell, her behavior is about the same as before. This is one of the hardest things to explain about her behavior. As far as she is concerned, the attempt was in the past and she didn't mean to do it and she won't try again. Even though she did mean to do it when she did it and the circumstance could very well happen again. She is on to her next thing, eating as much candy as possible and the upcoming trip.
The only way to get her to show a reaction about it now would be to hammer her about it, which we do on occasion when she doesn't remember why her computer and phone privileges are curtailed, why she can't have a friend over for the whole weekend. This is very frustrating for the rest of us.
Her friends, and some of our friends, probably, think that we are too hard on her because we seem to lose our tempers and rail at her. What doesn't come across in brief meetings with her is that if she doesn't want to feel something, or notice something, she won't. She's very good at that type of avoidance. If she is behaving badly and we want her to notice and react to our comments, we have to get in her face and be pretty intense. It looks mean from the outside. But she's got to hear what we have to say. And she still has a bunch of behaviors that will hinder her survival in the outside world.
Another thing,
I wish I knew why someone is always messing with Kaia's blog. She gets royally bitchy, mean commenters and she doesn't deserve it. Then, whoever it is goes to Rosie's blog and makes mean, bitchy comments in Kaia's name. Good Lord, she's only 18!!!
posted by cebii @ 9:20 AM
2 Comments:
I don't disagree, but I do still worry.
Hmm, that's very interesting. My adopted brother was like that, and as the eldest daughter, it drove me insane. Really. If he invited everyone in the city to a party, and we all got thrown out of our rental apartment cuz of it, two days later he was like "well, that was then, why bring it up again, it's over, let's go out and have some fun!" That attitude, the lack of any awareness of impact, of the gravity of it, the need to make changes for the future, were so frustrating and worrisome. Because we never knew if he'd do it again. Or something equally as unsoundly thought out. Though no one could blame him of being negative or dwelling on things in the past. He's a fun person to be social with.
Watching a documentary on FAE (yeah this has another name FASD?), we thought, dang, much of that behaviour must just be hardwired. It is hard.
and I know what you mean. I was always seen as getting in his face or being a nasty bitch, but if not, he would just avoid, make a joke and not reflect on anything, or do what he was supposed to. Hard.
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