cebii

i wish i wish i wish

I wish I had a magic button to heal the hurts my kids have. I visited S at the psych ward and it was so freaking depressing. The place is dismal - painted buff tan, white spots on her room's walls that were patched but never painted, a couple of twenty watt bulbs for light. Yet, people tell me it's a good place, nicer than most. Why put people who are already depressed in such a dismal place? The children's hospital is run by the same group and it was really nice. Is there a rule that mental hospitals have to be depressing? She's been there since Sunday and hasn't even seen a doctor yet. She has been to several group sessions, apparently they have three mandatory ones a day.

We thought she would get individual attention. We thought that they would adjust her meds to level out her mood swings. They say she might be out by Friday, how does that give them time to work with her meds when she hasn't even talked to a doctor yet?

Then the whole placement thing. She is not legally ours, anymore. We have no say in her care. We are only allowed to visit out of curtesy because they only allow immediate family and we are no relation. Her future is in the hands of doctors we've never met, a catholic nun social worker and her caseworker who's met her twice in six months.

S has court on Wednesday. She won't be able to attend, but it could be a good thing. Holly will go by herself because I've already missed so much work. She has a good reputation and the judge likes her. He commended us on the work we've done with S in the past. He has handled most of her appearances over the years and knows S. Hopefully, he will give us some assurances.

posted by cebii @ 6:23 AM