birthday
Today is S's fifteenth birthday. It is hard to believe. She has come so far.We didn't go overboard on presents this year - one big thing and three littler things, all of which will be useful in Hawaii (somebody suggested it on Holly's blog awhile back). She's been sane about her birthday so far, which is good and a bit surprising. She had such an active weekend, with a band competition, football game and people visiting that we thought she might crash before now. We are going out for dinner tonight, just the family, as low key as possible. Although the 'family' as grown to as many as eleven. Holly will probably keep her out of school tomorrow, and give space for the inevitable crash to manifest itself at home rather than school.
S and M (who we will begin to foster soon) went to the local gay/lesbian/bi youth drop in last night, and M got hit on. I wasn't surprised. She is beautiful and interesting. She also go hit on twice at S's football game, although we didn't tell S. M jokingly told me about a stack of boy's phone numbers that she's gotten and keeps for fun because she views herself as a lesbian. We laughed.
The clincher is that S is jealous. She has seen all of her older sisters get that kind of attention, and never has herself. Holly handled it last night - explaining that firstly, S does not put out an image of someone who is interested in a relationship, with her bad posture, scuffling feet, sketchy hygiene and often unmatched/unkempt clothing. Those kinds of things marginalize her, so even though she has more friends than she ever has, she recognizes that she is not completely accepted. Secondly, Holly explained that kids her age are not the best about accepting people that are different. S may be fun for the other kids to be around, but she doesn't have the maturity level or social skills to truly 'fit in'.
Don't know how she did it, but Holly talked her down last night. We shall see what the future brings.
posted by cebii @ 9:00 AM
2 Comments:
Happy Birthday to S! I'm so glad things have been going well. It sounds like there has been so much happening of late. Hope supper goes really well, and tomorrow is as smooth as possible.
I hate to say, but it isn't only at 15 that people are not very accepting of anyone who stands out, or doesn't fit in. I will admit that I learned to stop scowling as I walk down the street, and to smile at strangers (a girlfriend showed me this... they actually smile back when you smile at oncomers for no reason... huge breakthrough for ME!) .... sometime before I was 35! LOL! I also discovered how biased the world is... when i dress the same, talk the same, but wear a long fluffy blond wig, everyone is incredibly nice to me. Unfortunately instead of making me happy, that discovery made me angry.
I hope S can find a place in the world, and people who truly love and desire her (besides her great moms of course!)
Happy Birthday!
Hehehehe Me and S. are B-day sisters! Hard to be an October Scorpio! The problem with acceptance is that by the time you learn to fake it you don't want them anymore.
It sounds like she is beginning to streach out her crashes... gaining at least some abilty to control when they are happening... that sounds very hopeful.
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